Forty Years Later: THE BLUE LAGOON

On the nineteenth and twentieth of June in the year of our Lord 1980 the coastal elites got their chance to see young adults (really young) discover sex for the first time in THE BLUE LAGOON. This uncomfortable bit of marketing a fourteen year old Brooke Shields in a state of undress would soon make its way to the flyover states... and be just as financially successful. So here we are forty years later and SOBER CINEMA has to be the moral arbiter of film. As it should be.

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Jared @jgdotson

Josh @SoberCinema

Mike @projectingfilm

Twenty Years Later: GONE IN 60 SECONDS and GROOVE

Relive the college rave days of one host in GROOVE and find that some things were always uncomfortable stroke material but stroke material nevertheless for the other host in GONE IN 60 SECONDS. These movies turn twenty years old! We honor them!

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Seventy Years Later: THE ASPHALT JUNGLE and NIGHT AND THE CITY

Dusty old farts discuss a time when grappling solved disputes, heaving bosoms were a sign of physical fitness and men were just meaner. Like when your father challenges you to perform moves from NBA JAM in real life and you disappoint him repeatedly we are here to disappoint you by attempting to talk about classic cinema in THE ASPHALT JUNGLE and NIGHT AND THE CITY. Seventy years of reverence as some of the greatest film noir is slotted in after ten minutes talking about Twitch streams. You are welcome, dear listener.

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Fifteen Years Later: THE LONGEST YARD and A LEAGUE OF ORDINARY GENTLEMEN

To bowl and gain the respect of the few or to be taunted by Adam Sandler in the more popular sport of prison football while suffering through his idea of comedy in a good old fashioned wet willy. This is the lot of SOBER CINEMA "celebrating" fifteen years of the bowling documentary A LEAGUE OF ORDINARY GENTLEMEN and the football "comedy" THE LONGEST YARD. Sports can't come back fast enough for your favorite hosts but just not at the movies.

We are all very tired.

Enjoy.

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Twenty-Five Years Later: CRIMSON TIDE and DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE

Twenty-five years later we are still fantasizing about bickering with the sweaty likes of Denzel, Viggo, The GOAT Steve Zahn... and occasionally even the magnificent ass that is Gene Hackman. Basically we just want to go back to the glorious back to back weekends of May 12 and May 19, 1995 when CRIMSON TIDE and DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE gave every father and son bonding activities that didn't require any actual conversation. No need for that, of course. That's why we invented podcasts like this one.

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Twenty-Two Years Later: THE HORSE WHISPERER and LAWN DOGS

Two things we love in life are horses and shirtless men. We also love Scarlett Johansson but NOT the underage version we find in THE HORSE WHISPERER. This is something Sam Rockwell needed to hear again twenty-two years ago as his little indie film LAWN DOGS went up yet another western epic from Robert Redford. And since Mr. Rockwell is presumably one of the many listeners we have let this episode be a gentle reminder of appropriate relationships between a simple landscaper and a young misanthrope. We also did not care for the hair of Kristen Scott Thomas. But she probably doesn't listen. Enjoy!

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Thirty Years Later: TIE ME UP! TIE ME DOWN! and TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE

We somehow manage to get into a discussion on bondage in film... and that's even with a brief mention of the Rosie O'Donnell comedy on the subject. But we ARE NOT discussing that film, instead the sexy Antonio Banderas is a man who loves a good Walkman, wigs, and some ropes in the bedroom, the latter of which would be required to watch YET ANOTHER horror anthology from Stephen King in TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE: THE MOVIE.

But we're podcast professionals. Which means we only talk about bathtub toys as butt plugs seven times as we discuss the color palette in the Pedro Almodóvar film. Enjoy!

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Mike @projectingfilm

Five Years Later: MONKEY KINGDOM and ROAR

For Earth Day we got back in touch with nature by not leaving the house and watching a double feature of DisneyNature's MONKEY KINGDOM and Tippi Hedren's costly mistake ROAR. Five years ago we had no desire to run around with ugly and elitist monkeys, nor did we want to wrestle with lions and tigers... and even with the world shut down, we still don't. Some things never change but for this episode one of your hosts is lathered up and that's a reminder that SOBER CINEMA can only exist in audio form.

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Thirty-Five Years Later: CAT'S EYE and GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN

We just want to have fun with a champion cat roaming town to town to get electroshocked and fight trolls in CAT'S EYE. And when that doesn't do it for us we go to the greatest troll in cinematic history: Helen Hunt in GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN. It's been thirty-five years since both these films announced themselves with much dance from Sarah Jessica Parker and merriment in tormenting James Woods and we felt that right now the world needs to be reminded of these simple joys.

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CATS and DOLITTLE Still Stink on DVD

We talked about two movies everyone hated and we hate you too.

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