Thirty years of a turtle taking a doomed ride with a maniac kid.

But at least the dog makes it out okay(ish) in Richard Donner's misguided family film that doesn't quite capture the magic of say a Dwight Yoakam in SLING BLADE domestic abuse drama. It's just not that fun! Even with attempting to feed a turd to a now retired actor and professional Twitter troll in Adam Baldwin... young Frodo just can't make it work. So the boy from JURASSIC PARK must die. Enjoy!

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